Fullmetal State Farm
by CLL Productions
Summary: What happens when Ed crashes the car and has to sing the jingle?  Well you have to read to find out!


**State farm (FMA)**

"Ed be careful!" Al yelled over the screeching of car wheels. Ed let out a frustrated groan.

"I know, I know Al! I just don't want to be late to that stupid meeting! Hawkeye will have my ass if I'm late one more time!" he shouted back.

"Maybe if you didn't over sleep all the time, we wouldn't be late!" Ed turned his head to his brother, glaring at him.

"Well excuse me Mr. Light Sleeper!" he yelled. "But not all of us can get up at any time of day! Some of us need our beaut-,"

"Ed, THE ROAD!" Al cried. Ed turned back to the road just as they went flying off the gravel, into a big oak tree.

The elder Elric groaned, climbing out of the wreckage.

"Al, you ok?" he asked. He heard the other groan in response.

"Its days like these that I wish I kept my armor," he muttered. Ed glared again.

"Shut up." Al got out the car slowly, walking over to Ed. Both stared at the mess of metal and rubber. "Now what?" Al thought for a second.

"Oh, sing that jingle!" he said finally. Ed stared at him.

"Why? I could just use alchemy to fix it." Al shook his head.

"No way! You were stupid enough to crash it, you'll sing the jingle," Al said firmly. Ed groaned.

"But I don't wanna!"

"Too bad," Al answered, folding his arms across his chest. Ed whined.

"Fine." He ran his hand over his face, scratching the back of his head. He looked around quickly, making sure no one was looking. He turned back to the car. "Like a good neighbor, state farm is there," he sang. Then, poof! Out of nowhere, Roy Mustang, the flame alchemist, and General Armstrong, the strong arm alchemist appeared.

"Colonel Mustang? General Armstrong?" Al asked.

"What are you two doing here?" Ed asked. "You two get demoted or something?"

"No, it's a part time job," Roy said. There was a long, awkward silence. Al cleared his throat.

"Sooooo," he started. "Are you going to fix the car?" Armstrong flexed his muscles, tearing his shirt with pink sparkles going everywhere.

"Yes Elric Brothers! We shall help you fix your car with the utter most beauty!" Ed and Al watched him smile and flex. Ed face palmed his forehead. Al shook his head. Then, Ed felt someone touch him. He looked up, seeing Mustang leaning against the bumper of the car.

"Well Ed, you're looking cute today," he said smiling. Ed blinked.

"Huh?" Mustang chuckled. He put his hand under Ed's chin, lifting it up to meet his eyes.

"You heard me. You're cute." Ed blinked in confusion. Mustang smirked. "Tell you what, how about as soon as we finish this car, I'll drive us to my place and pound you until you can't walk." Ed's jaw dropped. His face turned red. He jerked away, stumbling back. Mustang's smirk widened.

"Brother?" Al asked. "What did he mean by-?"

"NOTHING!" Ed shouted, cutting him off. He turned around frantically, smiling nervously. "Nothing Alphonse!" Al looked doubtful, but nodded. Ed then spun around quickly, clapping his hands and turning his metal hand into a dagger. He glared menacingly , his eyes slitting demonically. " Fix…the car..Mustang! Just fix the freaking car," he said softly, so soft you could hear a pin drop on the grass. Mustang shrugged, snapping his fingers. The fire swirled around the wreckage. Metal melted and linked together. In less than a minute, the car was done.

Roy walked over to Armstrong, who this whole time was still posing. "C'mon General," he said. "Our work here is done."

"Wait! This is my best pose!" he said, flexing some more. Mustang sighed. He walked over to Ed, who was starting to open the car door. He watched the blonde climb inside. Mustang smirked, leaning on the car door.

"Give me a call when you want to have a good time cutie," he said, dropping a slip of paper inside the car and walking away. Ed blushed angrily, picking up the slip. All that was on it were numbers. His eyes widened. Al looked over.

"Oh it looks like the Colonel gave you his number," he said innocently. "Now you won't have to sing the jingle anymore. Isn't that great?" He smiled. Ed didn't respond. Al blinked puzzled. He looked over at his older brother. The alchemist's eyes were shadowed, his mouth set in a frown. "Brother?" Ed looked up, eyes still veiled. He saw Mustang going to Armstrong again. He winked at Ed in the rearview mirror. A vein pulsed on Ed's head. He quickly threw the car in reverse, swerving around until the front faced Mustang and Armstrong. Al clutched the seat. "E-Ed?" Ed stared angrily at Mustang through the front window. He waited until both military men were up the incline before pounding the gas pedal. "Ed? What are you doing?" Al yelled.

"Stupid, pompous, sleazy, idiot! I'll teach him a thing or two! BASTARD!" Ed yelled, gunning for Mustang and Armstrong.

"Ed! We just got the car fixed!" Al screamed. They shot up the incline. Mustang and Armstrong turned back too late, both hitting the hood of the car. Ed grinned maniacally. Al looked around the mass of bodies, seeing them about to hit a tree on the other side of the road.

"NOT AGAIN!" he screamed.

Ed and Al stood on either side of the newly wrecked car. Ed smiled sheepishly. Al was shaking his head in disbelief, frowning.

"Heh Heh, should I sing the jingle again?" Ed asked. Al rubbed his temples slowly.

"No, just call the tow company….And the ambulance."

Hope it was decent

Ed: I can't believe Mustang! Doesn't he know the only one I love is my dear Alphonse?

Al:…..what?

Ed: Nothing! /


End file.
